2 gems I ran across this morning in my local CL:
"Need a friend between the ages of 18-30 to throw ninja stars with in my garage. (no throwing knives please) must supply own ninja stars. Also maybe play some dungeons and dragons with afterwards. Can do anytime except for Wednesdays because I have to train for the national yo-yo contest.
"(I always get nervous with sharp objects around my taint.) Oh and yo, don't worry about stink! I shower at least like twice a day with axe shower gel and coat my undercarriage with shit loads of axe spray. No stinky nuts! My junk smells fierce!"